she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
