um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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