While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
