This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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