DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So I just went to clothing optional bar
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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