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Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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