it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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