our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
