Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize