You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
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Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
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you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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