At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
