So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
