this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
