How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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