Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
