I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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