Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
