So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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