If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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