Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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