i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
