i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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