So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Walk of Shame today included voting.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
