I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
