My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
