I wish i was in the wii world.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I currently don't understand fingers.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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