i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize