Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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