Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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