He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
