Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
my sisters under your porch take her home
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
