Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
