my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
