Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
