TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
