I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
