why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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