ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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