If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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