YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
