Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I love having hate sex.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
