I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
