I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Of course I have a pirate flag
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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