So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
