mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
"it" just moved
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I think my moral compass just broke
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
