i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
