Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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