i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
