we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
