if i can run in heels then i can drive
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
There r osticjed everywhere
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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