like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
