Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
