my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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