actually, I'm a sock model
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
