You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
