I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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