I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
