Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
