problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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