i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
